Pony Play 101

The official pony play flag!

Disclaimer: Pony play is a form of BDSM. As such, if you are legally recognized as a minor, you can not engage in pony play. Wait until you are of your local age of majority (most places this is between the ages of 18-21, depending on where you are in the world). Then, you are free to explore and play! Otherwise, please do not engage in any type of BDSM play. It is illegal and the penalties are harsh for everyone involved.

Pony play is a type of pet play. It is a type of animal roleplay, where typically the submissive will take on the persona of some kind of equine (zebra, domesticated horse, unicorn, etc.). The Dominant typically goes by "Dom/Domme", "Owner", and/or "Jockey" in the case of pony players. Pony play is one of the oldest forms of pet play. It has been practiced since at least the 1800s but it is speculated to go back even further.

Studies show that most forms of pet play are typically done as a form of escapism. Some people will daydream, some people will engage in different types of artistic endeavors, others will pretend to be animals. Pony play is no different. It is very rarely done for orgasmic/sexual reasons. Pet players are not inherently into bestiality or zoophilia (romantic attraction to animals). Beastiality and zoophilia are the vast minority. Rarely are pony players into pony play for humiliation either.

There are many types of pony play. Pony play can typically be divided into:

• Show ponies: the ponies who enjoy dressing up and acting like a pony, sometimes involved with fancy footwork (dressage) competitions for judges
• Cart ponies: the ponies who will pull carts with their Dominant in them - typically seen at Leather PRIDE parades (and/or latex/BDSM in general)
• Event ponies: ponies that train in specific athletic events for pony players - typically seen as jumpers, dressage,  or barrel racers

A cart pony pulling his Dominant

There are many other sub-communities of the pony play field but these are the most common in the community. The athletic ponies who participate in the athletics fields must be physically fit (as well as cart ponies) because the type of athletics that they do put a hard strain on the body. Many pony players say they prefer to be show ponies over cart or event ponies because "my body just can't handle the physically harder activities", which is perfectly fine!

Pony play typically has very expensive gear that goes along with it. Their gear normally involves a pony-like mask (often called a "pony hood") that is made out of a variety of materials (leather, spandex, rubber, etc.); hoof boots (boots that look like horse hooves, equivalent to a "heeless heel"); a tail of some kind (butt plug or clip on); a harness/bridle (typically made from a "biological" horse's bridle or harness); and a saddle made for pony players. It is NOT recommended for pony players to put on saddles made for biological horses because it is not built for the confirmation of a human spine (they are built for a biological horse's spine). The biological horse saddles also range in weights (some are fairly light and others can be quite heavy), which is not good for a human's spine. A hood by itself typically costs $1500+ (depending on who you're buying from) and the hoof boots typically run $500+ (again, depending on who you are buying from). Pony play gear is optional (like all forms of pet play), but many ponies prefer to wear some kind of gear because it helps them "get into the headspace" of their pony persona. 

Some pony play outfits are revealing, others are often covered head to toe in some kind of leather or spandex outfit. The outfits vary wildly within the community. 

An elaborate pony play mask by Bob Basset

Like all forms of pet play, it is recommended that you feed your pony player pony a human diet. There is a lot of food that can be made to look similar to "actual horse food", but please do not feed your pony player strictly a horse-made diet. No, your pony player does not have to be a vegan or vegetarian to be a pony player. 

The pony play flag (listed at the top of the post) was created in 2007 by a person who goes by "Mystic Storm" online. Here's what the flag means:

• Black - Represents the Black Leather most commonly worn in the Leather communities.  This shows our link to the Leather Community at large.
• White - Represents the pure inner spirit within each pony, no matter how each pony may be different.
• Blue- Represents the ponies who strive to exceed at their craft and who enjoy the competition aspect of pony play. Also, blue represents denim, for all the cowboys and cowgirls who love their ponies!
• Green - Represents nature, grass and running free in a field with no worries except the stupid horse flies
• Horseshoes  - Represents the pony out in its natural environment as well as a symbol to unify all ponies.

Many pony players love horses. As such, here is a list of basic terminology that you might often hear in pony player communities:

• Tack: the equipment used for the pony player (saddle, bridle/harness, bit, etc.)
• Bridle: a type of head gear that has reins attached to it
• Harness: a type of head gear that does NOT have reins attached to it
• Bit: An often metal piece (can be leather too, but most often it is a piece of metal) that goes into a horse's mouth (or pony player's mouth in this case)
• Dressage: a fancy type of horse competition, horses typically look their "sunday's best" as well as their person (the Dominant in the case of pony play); the simplest way to describe it without drawing or showing a video is "fancy footwork"
• Barrel Racing: a type of horse competition where a horse must travel around 3 barrels, typically in a clover pattern
• Walk: a basic 4 beat gait, the slowest gait (think of a person regularly walking)
• Trot: what's equivalent to a person's light jog, it is a two beat gait with two feet/hooves on the ground at once (du-du-du-du is the type of sound a trot would make, two feet on the ground {diagonally - so front left and back right followed by right front and back left})
• Canter: what's equivalent to a person's light run, it is a three beat gait with one leading foot/hoof on the ground (then raised up) following by three feet on the ground, propelling the animal forward (da-duh,duh,duh - da-duh,duh,duh if you can imagine how the sound would be, the 'lead' foot is the first foot on the ground (typically front left or front right) and then followed by the rest of the three legs)
• Gallop: what's equivalent to a full out run, it is a four beat gait where one leg will briefly come off the ground. 
• Spanish Walk: a fancy gait that is essentially an exaggerated "walk" gait where the animal will hyperextend their front legs while walking to create elegant body movement
• Hoof pick: a tool used to clean a horse's hooves
• Curry comb: A type of comb used to remove old hair and debris off bio-horses
• Bio-horse: a horse or pony that is biologically a horse or pony
• Draft horse: a larger breed of horse (encompasses many breeds) that are typically built to haul large objects or be in a cart

There are pony play competitions (one of the most famous is named Equus) that involve different types of activities (dressage, jumpers, cart pulling, and choreographed sequences are the most common types) can be found throughout the world. Some pony players just play at home with their BDSM partner and this is fine. Sometimes Leather and/or BDSM PRIDE parades will be hosted in public settings and pony players can often be found there as well. 

Interested in learning more? The following links are great starting points!

• Exploring Pony Play - https://www.cpony.com/home/
• Equus International Pony Play - http://www.equusippe.com/
• [Youtube] Equus International Pony Play - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCC9KDBkq024fqLy4x7arvHQ

Menstruation

The Uterus Plush that can be found in TheAwkwardYeti store!

Disclaimer: I am not an OBGYN - if you have serious health concerns, please consult your local OBGYN. I have a graduate degree in public health and work with doctors at my local hospital. This blog post is meant solely to be educational. 

There have been entire books written about the infamous "monthly visitor" - so I will keep this as a basic overview.  Whenever a person has their "monthly visitor" (known as menstruation), there is bleeding (anywhere from mild to severe, it's completely individualistic) because of the uterus getting rid of its excessive tissue because the body did not become pregnant.

Some people have problems with anemia, which occurs when a large amount of blood has been lost. These people typically need to manage it via pills (prescription drugs, hormonal birth control, etc.). Some have it so bad that they have to go to the hospital whenever this happens for a blood transfusion. Please keep in mind that this is the exception, not the rule for periods to be this bad.

Hormonal based birth control can make the bleeding lighter (or heavier). It depends on the individual person. It is not really known why periods still occur while hormonal based birth control is being used because of how birth control affects the body's biochemistry. 

The onset age for when a person first experiences this typically ranges from age 7-14. Some start sooner, some start later. After a person experiences their first menstruation cycle, they can become pregnant (however it is not advised since people who get pregnant "too young" dramatically increase health problems for both the person carrying the fetus and the fetus themselves).

Duration for the bleeding can be anywhere from 3-8 days typically. Periods generally come once a month (about once every 2.5 to 4 weeks). Periods can become irregular for numerous reasons (including but not limited to: extreme stress, hormonal based birth control, pregnant or breastfeeding, and thyroid problems). Besides the bleeding, other changes can involve mood swings, fatigue, depression, bloating, and headaches. Everyone is different with how they experience menstruation.

It is important to remember that it is not physically possible to have a period while pregnant (however there is a very slight risk of becoming pregnant while having "period sex"), however, spotting can occur. For many, they can not tell the difference between "period blood" and "spotting blood". Spotting is different from "period blood" (spotting is a very common side effect of hormonal based birth control).

"PMS" (pre-menstruation syndrome) is what happens before the monthly cycle occurs. It normally happens about 2-4 days prior to menstruation actually occurring. Signs and symptoms typically involving: mood swings, food cravings, irritability, depression, and tender breasts. If symptoms are severe, it is recommended to go to your local doctor. Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) can cause intense irritability, depression, and/or anxiety.

There are numerous hygiene products that can be used to help deal with the bleeding. These include, but are not limited to:

• Pads
• Tampons
• The Cup
• "Period undergarments"
• Sponges

Each type has its own pros and cons. It completely depends on what the person is wanting to do and their own preferences. Please keep in mind that any insertables (like the Cup or tampons) can become painful if any type of vaginal atrophy (aka vaginal dryness) is occurring (patients post-chemotherapy often have trouble for example).

Menstruation is a very natural process. The body didn't get pregnant so it's getting rid of the excess tissue. This comes out in the form of blood. It is just another type of vaginal secretion. 

Sperm Life Cycle

Source of image: https://tinyurl.com/yddxt6s7

Many millions of sperm are produced each day in the testicles. Their number one function is to procreate with an egg. Once sperm is formed, it can take anywhere from two to three months to "fully" mature. When first create, they lack the ability to swim or propel themselves forward. 

If a person has a poor lifestyle (poor diet, poor exercise habits, is a smoker and drinks alcohol regularly to the point of excess, etc.) then this can negatively impact the quality of the sperm. Once a person "cleans up" their lifestyle, it can take about three months for the sperm to return to being "top quality" sperm. If the testicles are acutely (shortly) exposed to a very hot environment (hot tub, sauna, very hot weather, etc.) this can also negatively affect the sperm (so having sex in this kind of environment can weaken the quality of sperm that comes out of the body). Different prescriptions can also potentially affect sperm quality and quantity. For this reason, please consult your prescriber about your concerns if this is a concern for you.

A person, once they hit puberty, can produce and ejaculate sperm all their life. However, generally speaking the overall quality of one's sperm tends to go down around age 40-45 (all depends on the individual). For this reason, it is generally not recommended to try to get someone pregnant post this age (if you are the sperm maker/holder) because it increases the risk of birth defects and other issues. 

Once inside a vagina, the sperm itself can survive about 3-5 days if it does not reach the egg and achieve fertilization. If the sperm enters the body orally the sperm may last a few hours at most. There does not seem to be a scientific consensus for how long sperm would survive if it does into the anus. After these time periods, the sperm dies and the body will either dissolve it or be rid of it (for example some white blood cells will literally consume the sperm and dissolve them inside their cellular bodies). 

There are some variations of sperm, most of which indicate unhealthy sperm (please note that these tend to be individual issues to individual sperm cells, there is a large natural variation to the size and shape of sperm cells in a person's own body):

• Macrocephaly (aka "large headed sperm" that can cause too many chromosomes when fertilizing an egg)
• Microcephaly (aka "small headed sperm" that can cause the inability for these specific sperm cells to properly fertilize an egg)
• Headless sperm (since they have no head there is no ability for these specific sperm cells to properly fertilize an egg)
• Two headed sperm (this can cause an issue with fertility since they normally don't swim fast enough to fertilize an egg)
• Multiple tails (this can cause potentially miscarriages or produce problems during pregnancy since multiple tails are often associated with large headed sperm {"macrocephaly"})

It is important to note that of the many sperm produced in a person's testes, about 15% are perfectly healthy. For this reason, having "abnormal" sperm cells are very common. 

To learn more about the life cycle of sperm, please consider taking a look at these links below! (Note: This is also where I found the information to supplement this article).

• "The Life Cycle of Sperm Development": https://www.shadygrovefertility.com/blog/fertility-health/fertility-facts-sperm-regeneration/
• "What's the lifespan of sperm after ejaculation?": https://www.oviahealth.com/guide/183/how-long-do-sperm-live
• "What Happens to Sperm Once They're Inside a Woman?" https://gizmodo.com/what-happens-to-sperm-once-theyre-inside-a-woman-1716992251
• "Sperm Morphology!" https://www.londonspermbank.com/blog/what-the-shape-of-your-sperm-says-about-you/
• "How Age Matters For Your Ferility" https://www.yourfertility.org.au/everyone/age

Obscenity

Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer - I have taken a handful of law classes during my time in academia, if you have serious questions about the law, please consult with a lawyer!

If you've been on any adult website, there is sometimes an obscenity clause found somewhere on the website. The clause will normally say something like, "By using this website you agree that content on this website is not obscene." So what exactly is "obscenity"? I can answer!

During the 1970s there was a court case. What became of the court case is known as the "Miller's test". So what does this test consist of? This is what it is:

• Whether "the average person, applying contemporary community standards", would find that the work, taken as a whole, appeals to the prurient interest,
• Whether the work depicts or describes, in a patently offensive way, sexual conduct or excretory functions specifically defined by applicable state law,
• Whether the work, taken as a whole, lacks serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value

An item/subject must meet all three to be deemed "obscene". This is how I interpret these three points (for those wanting a "plain English" version):

• Whether the average person you find on the street would find this specific item/product (whatever it is that's facing this test) is excessively "sexual" in nature or appeal to "lustful desire"
• Whether the average person would find this item/product (whatever is facing this test) clearly without a doubt offensive or violates laws SPECIFIC TO STATE about laws regarding sexual activity and/or excrement material (feces, urine, vomiting)
• Whether the average person would see the specific item/product (whatever it is that is facing this test) as having zero literacy (written work), artistic (visual or performance), political, or scientific value

Because of this law (while it is rare for someone to use this in court now-a-days as of the time of this post), many people who want to do anything remotely related to sex or sexuality (even if it is an educational platform), many people are scared to be hit with this lawsuit. Some laws that are specific to obscenity involve:

• Mailing "obscene" material 
• Transporting "obscene" material for the purpose of sales or distribution
• Misleading domain names on the internet
• Misleading words or digital material on the internet
• Section 1466A of Title 18, United State Code, makes it illegal for any person to knowingly produce, distribute, receive, or possess with intent to transfer or distribute visual representations, such as drawings, cartoons, or paintings that appear to depict minors engaged in sexually explicit conduct and are deemed obscene

Laws are not limited to the list above, however! "Obscenity" is one of the many reasons why BDSM bloggers (regardless of the platform) have explicit warnings on the website saying minors are not allowed to view the site (minor being defined as age 17 or younger on most sites, some sites say you must be 21+ to view to be extra safe). 

Even people with solely educational intentions (like making a sex education blog or online class) can find it difficult to make their content, out of fear of a parent hitting them with an obscenity lawsuit. Many host websites have "anti-obscenity" clauses as well so content creators can't post anything on the website that's even remotely similar to nudity, genitalia, breasts, buttocks, or sex acts (even if it's just a medical illustration of the body part or discussion involving STDs/STIs). Sadly there are not a lot of options out there for those who want to educate others about human sexuality and the future doesn't look too bright in this regard either with laws like SESTA/FOSTA and  COPPA. 

If you would like to learn and read more about obscenity, check out the following links [applicable to laws in the USA only]:

• "CITIZEN'S GUIDE TO U.S. FEDERAL LAW ON OBSCENITY": https://www.justice.gov/criminal-ceos/citizens-guide-us-federal-law-obscenity
• "Obscenity": https://www.justice.gov/criminal-ceos/obscenity
• "Pornography and Obscenity": https://www.freedomforuminstitute.org/first-amendment-center/topics/freedom-of-speech-2/adult-entertainment/pornography-obscenity/
• "Obscenity Law": https://www.hg.org/obscenity-law.html

Queer

A popular queer PRIDE flag! 

One could write an entire book on the word "queer" itself. This blog post is meant to act as a brief summary of using the word "queer" as an individual sexual identity for one's sexual orientation.

The term "queer" originates from the German language, back in the 1500s. As time went on, it eventually turned into what we know as "queer" today. In today's LGBTQIA circles, the word "queer" means "not straight". Some people use it as a way to say "my identity is very complex, so I'll simplify it and use 'queer'". Other people use it to mean "I know I am not straight, I don't know anything beyond that." Some people use it as a 'placeholder' term until they find something more appropriate to whatever term closer fits their own unique circumstances and personal history.

Queer can be used as an individual term or an umbrella term. There are academia fields known as "queer theory" and "queer history" that essentially go over the history of the LGBTQIA community as well as explore different types of theories (philosophy, art, etc.) that influence today's LGBTQIA community. One example of queer theory is the idea of "pomosexuality" that first came into existence during the late 1990s (the short version is that it's a label that means "I am between labels of the LGBTQIA community, I don't quite fit into any contemporary label", I actually wrote about pomosexuality on this blog, -click- to read it!)

The flag posted at the top of this post is one of the most popular variations of the "queer" flag (numerous flags have appeared for the identity "queer" throughout the years, both as an umbrella and individual term). This flag was created by a person who goes by the username Pastelmemer online (unknown year it was made, it's been around since at least 2015 according to many LGBTQIA resource websites). The flag colors (according to the original maker) mean: "The pinks and blues next to each other represent same-gender attraction, the orange and green are for nb, and black and white for ace/aro/agender spectrum people as well!"

During the AIDS crisis (1970s and 1980s in the USA), many people became fearful of those who said they were gay or bisexual. Because of that, the term "queer" was often used as a way to dehumanize these individuals. However, large surveys across the LGBTQIA community across numerous popular social media platforms (Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, Reddit, etc.) have found that majority of today's generation of the LGBTQIA community (as of the late 2010s and 2020) found that the term queer is either "reclaimed" and/or "no longer a slur". 

Demisexuality

The Official Demisexual Flag!

Demisexuality is defined as "a sexual orientation in which a person does not exhibit sexual attraction for anyone. However, an exception is one where someone has developed a powerful bond with someone. Please note that this bond does not have to be romantic in nature."

The focus of demisexuality is the lack of sexual attraction. Demisexual falls without the "graysexual" community (find the article I wrote on grays here -click-). Graysexuals only have sexual attraction very rarely and/or under very specific circumstances.

Demisexual was originally coined on an internet message board back in 2004. It faded into obscurity until 2008 where members of the asexual community found it and adopted it for themselves. There is a rumor going around the internet that this term originated on AVEN when that is NOT the case. Ever since the word has skyrocketed into popularity and is possibly the most used sexual orientation term within the graysexual community (possibly more popular than "graysexual" itself). The person who originally coined it didn't take it seriously but it is now a well-recognized term within the asexual umbrella. 

The flag colors mean this:  Black stands for asexuality.  Grey represents Gray-Ace and demisexuality.  White represents sexuality.  Purple represents the community. I was unable to find the flag origins (when it was created and by whom). 

People who are demisexual can work in the sex industry (erotic writers, sexologists, erotologists, on the set of porn shoots, escorts, etc.) and it doesn't invalidate their sexuality. Demisexuality is not choosing to be celibate. It is not a conscious choice to choose to be or not to be sexually attracted to someone. 

If you would like to learn more about demisexuality, check out these links!

• Demisexuality Resource Center: http://demisexuality.org/
• AVEN Message Board: https://asexuality.org/en
• Asexual Pride! [Tumblr]: https://queeracepride.tumblr.com/
• Why Demisexual Isn't Just "Being Normal" [Youtube]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkXy8g3fNmQ&t=1s

NuvaRing

The NuvaRing is a useful hormonal based contraception

Disclaimer: While I do work in healthcare and have a minor in biology, I do not have a medical degree. If you feel this type of birth control could be a good option for you, please visit your local OB/GYN. This article is meant solely to be an educational "starting point" for readers. I strongly recommend that you do your own research and discuss any birth control related concerns to your physician. 

"The Ring" (also known as NuvaRing) is a type of hormonal based birth control. It has a 90-99% success rate at preventing pregnancy. The NuvaRing works by bending/twisting the ring against itself (so it looks like a figure-eight) and gently pushing it inside of the vagina. 

The NuvaRing prevents the sperm from touching an egg. The NuvaRing releases estrogen and progesterone into the body. These increased hormones levels in the body signal the brain to stop ovulating as well as thicken the mucus within the cervix to help prevent pregnancy. It is important to remember that NuvaRing does not protect against STDs/STIs.  The NuvaRing puts about 33% of extra hormones into your body. 

As per the manufacturer's website "In a given 4-week cycle, NuvaRing must be inserted into your vagina, removed after 3 weeks, and a new ring must be inserted 7 days later."

The NuvaRing can be worn when you go swimming, bathe, or shower. During sex, many partners report they "might" feel it, but it isn't bothersome. When inserted correctly, the NuvaRing should not cause pain. If there is pain, please report this to your OB/GYN. 

It is important to remember that some people have "smooth sailing" with hormonal based birth control (little to no bad side effects) while others have pure Hell. A person's experience with hormonal based birth control is completely individualistic. 

If you are interested in learning more about the NuvaRing, please speak to your local OB/GYN. Here is the manufacturer's website (https://www.nuvaring.com/)!

The Patch

"The Patch" can be a popular choice of birth control 

Disclaimer: I do work in healthcare and have a graduate degree in public health. However, I do not have a medical degree. This post is to be used solely for educational purposes and as a "starting point". Please do your own research and talk to you OB/GYN if this sounds like a good birth control option for you!

Xulane (otherwise known as "The Patch") is a type of hormonal birth control. Hormonal birth control tends to be less likely to have a person become pregnant (as opposed to non-hormonal birth control). The Patch specifically has about 90-99% chance of not getting someone pregnant (when used correctly). The Patch is used three weeks at a time and then "given a break" for one week (so you use it 3/4 weeks of a given month and then "have a break" for that last month). It is typically placed on the inside of the arm, the back, the side of the leg, abdomen, or buttocks. The Patch is only slightly larger than the American quarter. 

The idea with The Patch is that it's a "skin neutral" color (caucasian "neutral") that can be placed in an area that is unlikely to be seen by the average stranger. It is waterproof, which means it can be worn in the shower, go for a swim, or take a bath. The Patch puts in your body about 60% extra hormones (as compared to say most other hormonal forms of birth control which puts on average about 33% of extra hormones, the mini pill even less!). As per the manufacturing website "Hormones from the patch enter the bloodstream and are processed by the body differently than hormones from birth control pills. You will be exposed to about 60% more estrogen if you use the patch than if you use a typical birth control pill containing 35 micrograms of estrogen. In general, increased estrogen may increase the risk of side effects, including blood clots.". So if your body is sensitive to hormonal changes, this might not be the birth control for you.

It should be noted that everyone will have a vastly different experience with hormonal based birth control. Some people have "smooth sailing" with zero or almost zero problems. Other people have pure Hell, regardless of the hormonal birth control they choose. 

If you are interested in learning more about this type of birth control, please speak to you OB/GYN as well as take a look at the manufactuer's website (https://www.xulane.com/en/use-xulane)!